Adapting and a Birthday Bash With Satan!

I don't want to sound sacrilegious in any way, shape, or form, but I often reflect upon the scripture about Mary and the birth of Jesus (the one in Luke, since that's where we always read the Christmas story). It says that she kept all of these things and pondered them in her heart.

In no way shape or form do I pretend to equate myself to a mother such as Mary, the mother of the Savior. However, I just think this passage captures what each mother thinks about her child and how she feels towards them. It's one of the true qualities of a motherheart.

This week at behavior therapy (Yes, I previously stated we had our last session, but now we go every 4 to 5 weeks.), I inquired as to when we can return to our "normal" life, incorporating the things we are used to, and participating in our "normal" activities.

The therapist stopped me in my tracks and said, "You missed the point of the entire program. It's not about returning to normal or maintaining the standards that typically accompany "normal." This therapy is about adapting to the child you were given. It's about teaching you parenting skills that you can teach your child(ren), so that he/they can learn to cope into the world around them."

I thought I already understood that last part, but I guess little by little it sinks in. Sometimes it's easy to jump on board the "it's so hard" bandwagon or "I just need a break" bandwagon or "can't we just have one day" bandwagon. But . . . as I have reflected and pondered the course of our lives and the future for each of my boys, I feel peace and hope. I can see that we are making progress each day. I can see that we are developing patterns to set them up for success. I can see Heavenly Father's hand. And soon, I look back, and a day has gone by and a week and a month, and it's not so horrible or so hard. It's experience.

[Ryan and I were talking a few nights ago and I asked him if he could tell a difference in either of our boys, since we've sought out rather vigorous treatment. He commented, "Yes, absolutely! I can." "How," I inquired. "Well, you don't call me as often about the boys each day." Question mark to slump shoulders a bit. "Oh." But then, as I took a step back to re-examine this week, that day, the days previous, I said to Ryan, "But you know what? This happened and this happened. It hasn't been smooth sailing."

That's when I finally connected the dots of, "Oh! Ah ha! I get it." Things haven't been taken away, just as we no longer pray for them to be taken away and we haven't for some time. However, we are being strengthened to handle the burdens placed upon our shoulders. Our capacity to experience is being stretched and expanded.]

Anyway, back to Dr. M: After we discussed that he also commented, "Keri, it's not bad. There's nothing wrong with adapting. You just have to accept that this is your life." You can embrace it or you can resist it.

How can I resist adapting to this??

Matthew: Mom, you fill up my happy bucket.

Ethan can feed himself a whole bowl of applesauce now. The first three or four bites end up on the floor, shirt, or table, but then, he readjusts his grip and gets it right every time!

David: "Mom, can you hold me on the couch?"

Ethan and I dance with his feet on top of mine, in the kitchen, several times a week. He loves it, because he thinks it's fun. I love it, because my heart freezes in time, yearning to capture the moment and never forget it.

I cannot go to the bathroom for more than a minute, without having each of my boys come to the door, knocking, asking me things, or all of a sudden needing me. It drives me crazy for the moment, but I secretly LOVE it.

My hand smells like a hamburger tonight (Matthew stamped it with his new smelly pencil and he chose the hamburger flavored-one. What?!).

Matthew attended "Satan's" birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's on Thursday. Excuse me, David??? "Wait, what's his name again, Mom?? Oh yeah--Tynan, not Satan."