Thoughts

Today I had one of the sweetest experiences. I've been staying at my grandparents' home here in Highlands Ranch. Before we started eating breakfast this morning, I watched Pop-Pop fill each glass with orange juice. He began with mine, Grammy's, and last, his. However, when he got to his glass, there was not enough for even half. As a result, he took his glass and emptied the contents into his beloved Grammy's glass, filling hers to the brim.

This simple act may seem unimportant and completely ridiculous, but it really almost brought tears to my eyes. This sweet man has so much love my dear Grammy. Even though he's as sick as he is, he tries to serve her in every way he possibly can. In addition, this little act of service was such a big deal, because Pop-Pop is doing chemotherapy. Although the steroids have improved his appetite, both in taste and quantity, foods still do not always taste the best. For him to give up a craving or something that actually tasted good was a big deal. It really touched my heart.

I tagged along for the chemotherapy this morning. This cancer center is a really preaceful place. There is a calming waterfall upon entrance to the building. Each staff member greets you with a genuine smile and recognition. If they don't know you, they will seek you out to show you kindness. Every staff member I met seemed to really know just what to say to brighten the patrons of the cancer center.

Aside from the staff, there is the support of the infusion center. There are about 6 or 7 squares cut out with four reclining chairs and guests chairs. Each patient sits in one of the reclining chairs while they receive their chemo through a port-a-cath (I'm sure that's spelled wrong.). The great thing about the set-up is that the patients can talk to each other while they're receiving their treatment. They can lean on each other and realize that others understand, that others are going through the same trials, and lend support on so many levels.

In addition, sweet girl scout groups and other groups have offered service. People have brought hats, blankets, Valentine's and other gifts to brighten the patients' days.

It was a very sweet and humbling experience to sit with my Pop-Pop today. I sat with him and watched him, as he mustered the courage in silence to see his doctor to find out results to different tests and then, receive his chemo treatment. It occurred to me what a guile-less man he is. He just doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I watched various individuals, old and young, as they waited their turns.

If you lack courage, spend some time in a treatment center. You will be awe-inspired by the patrons of that ward and how each of them face death each day. But they do it with a smile. They do it with tears. They do it with kindness. They do it with patience. They conquer the pain. They conquer the lack of energy. They conquer the inconvenience. They conquer the time factor (many knowing not much is left). They conquer fear.

What a blessing for our family to be united at this time. We have come together in prayer on so many occassions, and now we come together again. My sweet Grammy goes to each treatment with my Pop-Pop. Children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren attend appointments and treatments. Although this is a really trying time for our family, we embrace the atonement of Jesus Christ. We find strength through Him. Whatever happens, we will be together forever.

I did it!

We defied gravity yesterday! While the definition of insanity may be one who tries the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, we did it!

Our morning consisted of paint touch-up and clean up after David got ahold of paint yet again. Then, last minute we discovered the flights were super full out of Houston to get to Denver for the remainder of the week. So . . . I decided we would go by ourselves (Originally, my parents were going to fly down on Wednesday and help us travel.). Yes, INSANE. However, one of our good friends from the ward came and helped us. She took the boys to give me time to get ready, and she helped pack as well. Also, she drove us to the airport and helped situate us.

The rest of the day was pretty long, but things ran really smoothly. Aside from a "Meet the Parents"-like gate agent, and a flight attendant, who definitely didn't have children, I decided I was still going to have a great travel experience (Many flights in the past have ended in tears.). My kids were the BEST they have ever been. Ethan ate during take off and then, slept the remainder of the flight. By the end of the flight, Matthew started asking, "Are we there yet?" I really thought I would never hear those words out of my child's mouth. David's inquiries? To the flight attendant, "Can I kiss you?" Our boys sure are different.

My mom met us in SLC.

When we arrived in Denver, my mom took the boys to pick up the car. While I waited, a woman began visiting with me. I quickly learned how blessed I am to have my circumstances. I also realized that there are good people in the world. She offered to help with various things, and helped us get our bags in the car. Upon leaving, it occurred to me what a nurturer she is. I so want to develop this quality in my life. I want to be one of those women that upon encountering anyone, they feel warm, welcome, safe, secure, and loved. I can definitely pinpoint those women in my life, who possess this quality and touch the lives of others.

On the way home, my mom expressed to me how many prayers were offered on our behalf. When she found out we were traveling by ourselves, she said she began calling various family members to offer prayers. What a humbling experience, and yet, what an increase in my testimony. When we pray for specific things, Heavenly Father will answer those prayers.

In addition, I conquered my fear of the cancer center today. Although we didn't make it for the full session and the chemo was shortened as well, I found courage. What a blessing to spend time with my family right now.

The Example of Women in Our Lives

I just wanted to write and let my wife know how much I love her. She is such a strength to me. She has held me up when I could not stand. She is my anchor. She is so strong in the face of the adversary. Her faith continues to amaze me after all these years. She works so hard around the house, to keep it in shape and to make sure that the Lord's Spirit can abide here. She works so hard with our boys to help them know right from wrong. No matter what I have had going on with work, she has never complained. There are not many women out there that are like this. I am one of the few lucky husbands to have been blessed with such a great wife. A wife who is my eternal companion. A wife who knows me, and loves me for me. She loves me for my strengths and my weaknesses. I love just coming home and searching for my wife just so I can have a kiss. I love waking up next to her every morning. She has sacrificed so much to bring three beautiful boys into our lives. Keri, I love you. I want you to know that I will always be by your side. I am greatful for you and all that you do. I don't think that our Heavenly Father could have blessed me more than when he gave me you.

Ethan's Birth Announcement

I hope this isn't too lame of a way to post Ethan's birth announcement. Normally, I make the announcements myself, but I'm still not feeling recovered from the surgeries, David has RSV, I'm sick, and Ethan's sick. Imagine. Also, these were too expensive to print, so we decided this would be a better idea. (So don't feel bad if you didn't get one. We only sent copies to grandparents.) You can enlarge images by clicking on them. Enjoy!For the record, I LOVE using iPhoto!!! It has amazing capabilities. I've just recently started playing around with the editing.

This week . . . A Snapshot of Our Lives

This post is more or less a journal entry.

Ryan and I ended up getting a Valentine's date in. He spent the weekend (Friday and Saturday) at a coach's clinic in Austin, but upon his return Saturday night, we caught a movie. We saw, "Dear John." Again, maybe it was my hormones, but I just didn't care for the movie. I was really hoping for something happier, and although, I liked some aspects of the movie, I didn't like that it was so sad. And I didn't like how Hollywood had to add some garbage to it. That ruined it for me. However, it was strange to sit in a quiet movie theatre. I almost didn't know how to act. I guess even though I hate the crazy chaos right now, in some ways it's stable for me. (Am I sounding psychotic yet?) I was really happy to spend time with Ryan, though.

I really just have such intense love for this man. He wore my favorite outfit on Saturday--pink shirt, jeans, brown belt, brown corduroy jacket, and brown boots. Aside from my attraction to him, I'm attracted to his willingness to give his all to me. He loves me. He opens doors. He listens after he's had such a long day. He will do things for my benefit, even if it means sacrificing his wants. He finishes my sentences--literally. He makes me laugh. I guess it's a million little details that when you add them up, I just have so much love for him. I feel so blessed to be married to him.

On Saturday he texted me, "Ker, you can do it. Hang in there." I texted back, "Um, do you have ESP and you know I'm insane and taking all three to the store again?" To that, "No. Just the Spirit. I love you." So many times we've had these moments where he's called at the right time or texted me, and I just know that Heavenly Father is aware of me. He's used my husband to answer so many of my prayers.

Sunday, my back was killing. It was very difficult to walk. So we're back to this page again.

Ryan stayed home with the boys, as he had a really bad headache, and we all decided it was best to get a nap in.

Well, while the rest of us slept, Matthew decided he didn't need a nap after all. Instead, he had some items to complete on his agenda--like painting the carpet. Need I mention that our home is 6 1/2 months old? I chose not to take pictures. This is not really a moment I want to remember in Allred family history. Besides, if I change my mind, the paint will still be there. We couldn't get it out.

Monday came. Phew! We survived and our children survived. We spent the day as a family. The boys played with Dad and cleaned in the morning. Then, we headed out to get some shopping done. In an hour and a half, we were able to pick up all of our bathroom stuff, our new bedding, and paint samples for the family room, hallways, our bedroom, and bathroom. Of course, we'd already picked out what we needed. Still, I think an hour and a half is pretty amazing!

Upon our return, little boys took naps, and then, played with Dad for several hours outside. By evening, though, David had a high fever, retraction in his chest, and a really bad cough. I'm not sure why this is taking us off guard so much. After sitting with Davey on the couch last night, I did a mental check with the calendar. Hmmm . . . how interesting it is that we are approaching the week of the year, when David has been hospitalized for 1 week 2 out of the last 3 years of his life due to RSV and pneumonia, and influenza and pneumonia. Why are we really surprised?

We started the nebulizer last night with some albuterol and pulmicort combination. I wish we owned a pulse-ox machine. (Is that spelled right?) Today, I'll take him in. My guess is either RSV or the flu. It doesn't sound deep enough for pneumonia too. We'll see. The sad thing is that David was supposed to fly up to CO by himself with my mom to see Pop-Pop and all of the family. Now, he probably won't be going anywhere for a while. I just hope the baby doesn't get it too. We did get blessings last night, and I'm feeling better about things.

The last thing I want to right about is something that is really difficult for me. However, I want to be honest. My mom asked me to take Pop-Pop to some of his chemo treatments when I come to Denver. I've really struggled with his sickness in a lot of ways. Some days I'm fine, and then, the next, I can't stop crying. Yet, this hit me in a whole new way.

Of course I will go. I love my grandparents so much. Both of them have been such an example to me, such a part of my life. I know this will help out my mother, and I would do anything for her.

I've wondered, though, how I will face the chemo treatment center? How will I hold it together for my dear Grammy and sweet Pop-Pop? I want to have faith and I do have faith. But how will I hold back my tears? How will I display courage when I fear that place so much? How will I face those young mothers, there for themselves or for young children, without tears? How will I face the lonely elderly, who come to treatments alone, because no one can take them?

Is it okay to cry? Does it mean I'm not brave or that I lack faith or courage? Again, I'm holding to, "In the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things (Elaine S. Dalton)."

My Thoughts Today

"In the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things." -Elaine S. Dalton

Bliss

I lied about learning how to use iPhoto. I'm not exactly sure when I will have free time again. This little man and his two older brothers keep me on my toes all day long. :D)I thought about writing a few lines about David's recent discovery of the game, "Will it float or will it sink" with the toilet. I think I've seen it on SNL or some comedy show, but I really feel the need to be more sincere.Since Ethan has come to our house three weeks ago this Wednesday, my heart has felt so full. I can't convey enough the joy I feel from this little piece of Heaven. His favorite place to be tucked is nuzzled between my neck and my chin. I LOVE his hair--even the hair on his forehead, his shoulders, and back. He makes so many grunts and various noises, especially when he's full and satisfied.







Ryan and I have had the chance to have many LATE night (Ethan definitely has his nights and days mixed up.) talks. I've fallen in love with this man over and over again, as I've seen his tender side. He's made me laugh to the point that my stomach is shaking so hard my incision hurts. He's listened, as my hormones have taken over once more. I've loved all of our little home dates. Again, he's rendered so much service on my behalf. Oh, how I love this man.
Matthew has been such a good helper. His eyes are sparklier than ever and dance with excitement each time he tells me about school or one of his crafts he's making.
Aside from David's maniac moments, he really has a gentle and loving soul. There's something so pure about those chubby hands soothing my face and those lips pressing to mine.

And I've felt watched out and loved by our Father-in-Heaven. I feel so grateful to be a mother of three. I always forget how precious this gift is, and I so want to savor it. I keep playing the sounds over and over again in my mind of the first time I heard each of my children cry. I think about the instant love I have felt for each of them. I have thought about Ryan standing by my side, as our tears combined and we couldn't tell whose were whose.

Our family has been watched out for by Heavenly Father. Twice now, we have thought Ethan was going into the hospital, and twice that has been overcome.

The miracle of life is such an amazing thing. And especially after pregnancy, I feel like I'm a nice person again.

Periodically . . .

We like to check on the marketability of our children. Specifically, we like to see exactly how much we might be able to get if we put our children up for auction on eBay.

Today's auction includes one little boy, very handsome with sparkly eyes and a charm like none other. Though he will melt your heart with his winks and smouldering kisses, he comes with a variety of other skills as well.

For example, this child comes fully equipped with the ability to climb anything at any height. Imagine the possibilities. Do you need help reaching a book up high on a book shelf? How about something at the top of your entertainment center?

Perhaps, you are looking to decorate. We have the little man for the job. Is your brand new iMac computer lacking in color? Davey will brighten it up with some pretty markers or pens. How about your flat screen television? Maybe that would gain more attention with some beautiful drawings created by the touch of a ballpoint pen. If you're still unsatisfied, David provides complimentary services with all types of furniture (though he prefers tables, dishes, or wooden entertainment centers), carpets, walls, floors, or doors.

His newest edition to this MAD set of skills is the satisfaction he finds in creating with his hands. Butter does amazing things to floors, counters, sinks, and whatever else stands in his way. However, do not fret if butter is not your first choice. David works in a variety of materials. While butter is one of his top specialties, he also works in soap and toothpaste. Of course, if you purchase David today, he'll throw in his egg-smashing skills wherever you would like: the carpet, the entertainment center, the fridge, or the floor. You just provide him with the eggs, and he'll leave you with the surprises.

He also enjoys refinishing doors and walls with his aging / antiquing devices.

Still not impressed? This child can flush an entire roll of toilet paper down in 60 seconds flat. He can flood a sink or bathroom in a matter of minutes.

And if you're lacking in excitement, David will spice up your life with numerous phone calls to Poison Control on behalf of experimenting with medicines or substances he finds. If it's in your home, locked up or accessible, he will find it.

The best thing about this little man is that regardless of the entertainment he provides, he will tell you he loves you and kiss you upon execution of the job.

So have at it, folks. What is your bid?