Yesterday, as we finished paying at the self-check out line, the automated computer said in a monotonous voice, "Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart." Very casually and not even trying to be funny, David replied, "You're welcome." I left the store with a smile and I continued to wear it the rest of the day.
David would randomly come to me and tell me, "Mother, I love you." Something about hearing such a tender expression from such a rough and tough little boy really melted my heart.
Now fast forward to today, and I feel completely exhausted and numb after this same little boy's actions. For family home evening last night, we discussed our choices and specifically, we talked about the parable Jesus taught in the scriptures in the book of Matthew about the wise men and the foolish men. I have sung that song over and over for Davey all day long. We have constantly talked about making wise versus foolish decisions. Yet, he still felt the need to lather our carpet and changing table with sun block, oatmeal my counter, throw Matthew's soccer ball on the car before soccer, and poke a bazillion holes in his dresser with a screw driver (which I'm still scratching my head as to where he found that and the sunblock) while I was cleaning up said lotion.
And then once more, I find the circle complete. Tonight during family prayers and scriptures, David sucked his chubby thumb and held his blanket with that same hand, so that the blanket was right next to his thumb and stroking his face. His big blue eyes looked deeply into mine and he searched for a smile and love from me. "Mother, can you hug me and kiss me 'good night?'" How could I refuse that? I love this little boy to pieces. He tugs at my heart strings, and maybe that's why these types of days take me by attack so much. It's when I least expect them and just as he forgives my faults, I have to forgive his and let go and not hold grudges or take offense. I have to remind myself that he's only 3 years old. Though he's hard on things and sometimes a really difficult child, he's a really sweet child. He has the capacity to love so richly and deeply. He is a child of God. He is good. He has a desire to do good. He is a nurturer and he desires to be nurtured. Above all, he wants to know that his mother loves him and wants him and accepts him.
I guess on days like these I need to pay extra close attention to him and give him that much more love.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
To Matthew, On Your 6th Birthday (Or Two Days Later)
My dearest Matthew,
Another birthday has come and passed. Can you really already have experienced six years of life?
I watched you yesterday at the bus stop. We walked alone, because David still slumbered after staying up half the night. And so . . . while he tried to catch up, you and I said family prayers alone and then, talked about the day ahead of you at school and whether or not you would get to go to gym or the library. I remember in our prayers that I asked for Heavenly Father to protect your ears and your eyes. I pray He will continue to be with you, as you are away from me during the day.
At any rate, I watched you at the bus stop. Yes, that’s what I wanted to address. You were so excited to tell your friends about your birthday presents and cake from the night before. Your eyes danced with excitement and your hands gestured to tell the story. But for whatever reason this little boy did not feel interested in your story. You continued trying to tell him, but to no avail. Then, you got on the bus, asking for reassurance on the steps that I would wave goodbye to you while the bus pulled away. I assured you I would.
When you tried to sit down next to this particular little boy, he scooted to the edge of the aisle and told you that you could not sit with him. Of course, you asked the bus driver what you should do, because it never occurred to you that someone would dislike you. From there, you sat a few seats back on the other side of the bus.
My heart sank a little bit, because I realized that this year and from now on, people are going to change in your little world. While you will always be this super fantastic, wonderful, special, handsome, dreamy, and nothing short of amazing little boy, full of joy and excitement, all contained in one little body, I know that you will have to meet some who do not see these incredible gifts and talents about you.
Some people will try to hurt you or drag you down. I pray that you will rise above. I pray that you will look to Jesus and hold to the stories and lessons we’ve told you about Him during family home evenings, on our walks, while we’ve played, and from family scriptures. I hope He is who you will always try to emulate. I pray that you will continue to have those missionary eyes, like when you told me the other day, “Mom, our neighbor Jose is not a member of the church. We need to tell him about the Gospel.” I pray that you will keep that innocence and sweetness about you. That you will not pick up on the negativity, but, rather, you will be optimistic about your life. I hope you will keep your excitement, like when you tell me something really cool that you just learned about a shark or a rocket and you become so expressive that I find myself captured and therefore, mirroring your each move and facial expression. I love your silliness and laughter like the time we let someone off the elevator and the Southern woman replied, “Bah (bye).” You, without hesitation, replied, “Bah” with a sparkle in your eye, a lifted shoulder, and your head slightly tilted. How could I resist you at that moment? I pray that you will continue your lego building, your reading, and writing. I hope you will continue to enjoy my cooking (Well, most of it anyway.)—like when you told the babysitter a few week’s ago, “My mom’s such a good cook.” I anticipate holidays with you. You have such a desire to carry out our traditions and do crafts. I love that you enjoy reading with me. Some of my most favorite moments of the day and memories in the past are when you and I have curled up on my bed to read Charlotte’s Web, The Witches, Where the Red Fern Grows, and more. I hope you will continue to look to your church teachers as heroes. I hope you will continue to act as an example to our family, like when you remind us that we need to say prayers and read scriptures before bed. I hope family movie night or football game night will continue to be one of the main highlights in your week. I hope you will continue to love your brothers and serve as a beacon of light for them. In short, I hope that you will continue to have this zest for life. It’s contagious.
I have loved you since I found out about you. I have loved you before then. I loved the idea of you. Your name means gift from God. It seemed perfectly fitting, because that is what you have been in our lives. Oh, how I love my Teus, Teus.
Since you’ve left for kindergarten many mornings and spare moments have been spent on my knees. I’ve pleaded with the Lord to protect you and be with you. I’ve watched home videos and shed tears, because I know you’re growing up. The terms of my loan on you are being expended much too rapidly.
Last week, I met with your new kindergarten teacher. Between her observations, the counselor’s, and your teachers last year, they decided to take you entirely out of special education classes and leave you without a para. My heart jumped for joy, because our early intervention accomplished its purpose. But I also cried. Mommies have fears too—especially when it comes to their little ones. I told your teacher I feared the what if’s and leaving my comfort zone. I knew that in the special education program under your IEP that you were guaranteed to succeed, because you were given all of the attention you needed. It’s scary to think that you can do this on your own, but I know things are going to be fine. The resources are still there if we need them. And you still have amazing teachers at school working with you.
In the mean time, I anxiously anticipate each Thursday when we have our regular lunch dates and then, I read to your class afterwards. I love how you tell everyone that I’m your mom and you act like you’re so grown up (I can tell, because you tilt your head to the side, lift a shoulder, and give this specific look—your “cool” look.).
Where will you be next year? I don’t even like to think about it. For now, I just want to continue each day I have with you. I hope you’ll continue to let me hold you once in a while and call you my baby and sing to you. I hope you will still want me to scratch and/or rub your back. I hope you will want to tell me all about your latest adventure or learning. I hope you’ll still be interested in your primary songs. I hope you won’t rub all of my kisses off your cheek and I hope above all else that you will feel of my love and know that you are a part of me. Somewhere on the inside, my heart flutters for you. Thinking about you makes me feel entirely twitterpated and I feel like the luckiest mom alive. What a special boy you are. Happy 6th birthday, my dearest Matthew.
Loving you,
Mommy (Can you still call me this?)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Soccer, Date #16, Strep, & The Sickies
Well, I feel like we have been hit by a train over the past 9 days. I'm so sick of being sick!!! I still have this yuckness and am now on my second round of antibiotics. Ethan's ear drum perforated yesterday and he has a nasty ear infection. We've had fevers. Matthew's staph infection ended up being strep in his leg. That's finally clearing up, and we had a birthday yesterday. Matthew turned 6. I made him an x-wing fighter cake and simple cupcakes to take to school. David, Ethan, and I also took him a surprise happy meal for lunch. I think he had a pretty great birthday--complete with pizza for dinner--even though he was a little bit grouchy from not sleeping much the night before. David is determined to wear the most outrageous things possible (Note in the picture: He's wearing black, blue, and brown.). Choose your battles--more on that another time. Ryan planned date #16 and blew me away with his preparation! We did a childhood memory date with a visit to Chuck E Cheese's, root beer, malt balls, sundae cones, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and a Nerf gun war. We had such a fabulous time! At any rate (I think my grammar and lack of paragraphs demonstrates how I feel perfectly--cloudy, jumbled, confused, achy, tired, blah) . . .
Monday, September 13, 2010
Date #15 & Staph
I know, I know . . . no pics. Lame. Well, we had such a FUN date #15. Mike and Stacy hosted a potluck and game night. We laughed so hard and really just felt happy to get away from life for a few hours with each other. The sad thing is that we were both so tired that it was hard to concentrate, but we really did have fun! Thanks for hosting guys!
Also, Matthew got staph last week . . . or so we thought. Basically, he had a bike accident on Wednesday or Thursday before our trip to Dallas. Sunday afternoon, white pimples appeared all over his right knee. He cried about said bumps and I chalked it up to "grouchiness-tiredness (I'm really good at missing those cues from my children)." Said bumps turned to boils on Monday. Mother-in-law lanced and cleaned them. We headed home.
Tuesday night, Matthew complained of feeling cold, when it was extremely hot. He told me how his teacher thought he had a fever at school at that afternoon (but it was while he was heading to the bus). Sure enough, Matthew had a temp of 101. Okay. Not a high-grade, but a fever nonetheless.
Wednesday, Matthew woke up with MANY pimples going down his leg, MANY boils, and one black spot the size of a dime with yellow stuff underneath (Sorry for the description. It was sick!). I called the doctor and by the time our appointment arrived, the black spot had turned green, grew to the size of a quarter, and exploded all over. The boils on the rest of his leg grew bigger, as did the pimples.
When the doctor looked at his leg, she sort of freaked out. "Oh my word! How long has this been going on?! Keri, this is a really bad infection. I'm almost positive it's staph, but we're going to take cultures and send them to the lab. In the meantime, I think he needs injection shots of syrum antibiotics. Plus, I'm giving you topical antibiotics, as well as oral."
The big issue was the cross-reactivity. All of my boys are allergic to penicillin, which is always the best antibiotic to treat with. However, on this particular infection, a drug with a higher percentage of cross-reactivity must be applied. Now, the regular cross-reactivity drugs / cefalo-sporins (Please don't laugh at my medical spelling.) are fine; my boys have had them many times. This one, however, they acted really funny about.
Different people kept coming into the room to look at his leg (from his knee to his ankle), and then, someone actually kept checking to make sure he was breathing after they did the shots--which by the way, were SUPER painful for this little guy. They explained that the medicine had a high dose and it was thick. They actually took several, several seconds to inject the medicine. Poor guy.
After the shots and the 3, almost 4 hours at the doctor's office, Matthew's leg presumed the condition of struggling to walk--as it had earlier when he woke up.
So . . . we stayed away from other kiddies, washed clothes and sheets and everything in sight . . . and then, today . . .
"Hi, Mrs. Allred? This is so and so from Dr. so and so's office. The culture came back with a different bacteria than presumed. Matthew needs to stop drinking the Bactrim and I'm calling in a new drug. He has strept in his leg--not staph."
Me: "What?!"
I'm feeling really grateful that we are having his tonsils removed in December. No, he did not get strept in his leg from his throat, but he could have. This is where the bacteria was originally introduced and where it continues to appear each month. And no . . . my current strept/sinus infection is not from Matthew's strept in his leg, but still . . . I wonder. What the heck is up with this kid getting strept like he does??!
Anyway . . . Matthew had his first soccer game on Saturday. It was hot as the blazes outside, so little bodies did not feel like playing soccer, but we persevered. Matt scored his first goal, and then, he didn't want to play the rest of the game. Imagine?
We're about finished with Harry Potter. Very exciting. First time reading that myself or to my children.
And last, I've lost 65 pounds officially.
Also, Matthew got staph last week . . . or so we thought. Basically, he had a bike accident on Wednesday or Thursday before our trip to Dallas. Sunday afternoon, white pimples appeared all over his right knee. He cried about said bumps and I chalked it up to "grouchiness-tiredness (I'm really good at missing those cues from my children)." Said bumps turned to boils on Monday. Mother-in-law lanced and cleaned them. We headed home.
Tuesday night, Matthew complained of feeling cold, when it was extremely hot. He told me how his teacher thought he had a fever at school at that afternoon (but it was while he was heading to the bus). Sure enough, Matthew had a temp of 101. Okay. Not a high-grade, but a fever nonetheless.
Wednesday, Matthew woke up with MANY pimples going down his leg, MANY boils, and one black spot the size of a dime with yellow stuff underneath (Sorry for the description. It was sick!). I called the doctor and by the time our appointment arrived, the black spot had turned green, grew to the size of a quarter, and exploded all over. The boils on the rest of his leg grew bigger, as did the pimples.
When the doctor looked at his leg, she sort of freaked out. "Oh my word! How long has this been going on?! Keri, this is a really bad infection. I'm almost positive it's staph, but we're going to take cultures and send them to the lab. In the meantime, I think he needs injection shots of syrum antibiotics. Plus, I'm giving you topical antibiotics, as well as oral."
The big issue was the cross-reactivity. All of my boys are allergic to penicillin, which is always the best antibiotic to treat with. However, on this particular infection, a drug with a higher percentage of cross-reactivity must be applied. Now, the regular cross-reactivity drugs / cefalo-sporins (Please don't laugh at my medical spelling.) are fine; my boys have had them many times. This one, however, they acted really funny about.
Different people kept coming into the room to look at his leg (from his knee to his ankle), and then, someone actually kept checking to make sure he was breathing after they did the shots--which by the way, were SUPER painful for this little guy. They explained that the medicine had a high dose and it was thick. They actually took several, several seconds to inject the medicine. Poor guy.
After the shots and the 3, almost 4 hours at the doctor's office, Matthew's leg presumed the condition of struggling to walk--as it had earlier when he woke up.
So . . . we stayed away from other kiddies, washed clothes and sheets and everything in sight . . . and then, today . . .
"Hi, Mrs. Allred? This is so and so from Dr. so and so's office. The culture came back with a different bacteria than presumed. Matthew needs to stop drinking the Bactrim and I'm calling in a new drug. He has strept in his leg--not staph."
Me: "What?!"
I'm feeling really grateful that we are having his tonsils removed in December. No, he did not get strept in his leg from his throat, but he could have. This is where the bacteria was originally introduced and where it continues to appear each month. And no . . . my current strept/sinus infection is not from Matthew's strept in his leg, but still . . . I wonder. What the heck is up with this kid getting strept like he does??!
Anyway . . . Matthew had his first soccer game on Saturday. It was hot as the blazes outside, so little bodies did not feel like playing soccer, but we persevered. Matt scored his first goal, and then, he didn't want to play the rest of the game. Imagine?
We're about finished with Harry Potter. Very exciting. First time reading that myself or to my children.
And last, I've lost 65 pounds officially.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
21 Days To A Healthier Me!
I've decided to really hit my diet and exercise hard over the next 21 days (Actually, I decided this 2 days ago, as I'm already on day 3.). My goal feels pretty lofty, but I can do it. I can already feel a difference. Thus far, I have lost 64 pounds and I've sort of been stuck, because I keep cheating on my diet. By the end of this 3 weeks I will have lost 75 pounds.
Anyway, here's to being a healthier me in 21 days!!!
Anyway, here's to being a healthier me in 21 days!!!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Some Fun Links
I am LOVING this link. If you haven't seen her newest video or heard this song, you are missing out. It's wonderful!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AWRHBHDVlQ
Also, this is what I cooked last week. My kids loved it!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Jamies-Cranberry-Spinach-Salad/Detail.aspx?prop31=4
On this salad, I just added Romaine and chicken. It was such a hit!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Honey-Chicken-Stir-Fry/Detail.aspx?prop31=3
This one I skipped out on the frozen bag part. Instead, I made my own veggie mix of snap peas, carrots, broccoli, and red pepper. It was fantastic!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Addictive-Sweet-Potato-Burritos/Detail.aspx?prop31=3
This is a wonderful vegetarian dish! It's super yummy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AWRHBHDVlQ
Also, this is what I cooked last week. My kids loved it!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Jamies-Cranberry-Spinach-Salad/Detail.aspx?prop31=4
On this salad, I just added Romaine and chicken. It was such a hit!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Honey-Chicken-Stir-Fry/Detail.aspx?prop31=3
This one I skipped out on the frozen bag part. Instead, I made my own veggie mix of snap peas, carrots, broccoli, and red pepper. It was fantastic!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Addictive-Sweet-Potato-Burritos/Detail.aspx?prop31=3
This is a wonderful vegetarian dish! It's super yummy!
Last Minute Trip
Friday night found us at Westside HS game, which they unfortunately lost. However, we still had a great time--I just wish I could have taken some pics. I could not for the life of me, though, find the camera (It was in plain sight on Ryan's dresser.). This week will try and get some pics.
Because of the long weekend and Ryan's lack of free time (Tis the football season.), I opted to take the kiddies to Dallas for grandparent/cousin time. Saturday night we took the kids to Chuck E' Cheese's. I actually brought in my camera, but it was so crazy in there, I never felt like I could get a picture. Oh well. They had fun.
Sunday, we spent at Wayne and D'Lonna's for dinner, cake, and ice cream for David's 8th and Matthew's 6th birthdays. I don't know if you can see it, but Ryan's mom made the coolest embellishments for each package. She's actually teaching Super Saturday on how to make these awesome flowers, cupcakes, pinwheels, and purses. Of course, I didn't get a picture of it. Also, she made this really cute space shuttle cake--lots of sacrifice went into that cake! It turned out super darling!
We had a fantastic trip!
To finish the trip, we flew kites and one of Grandpa's airplanes--again, no pics. LAME. My memory card was full, but I did get a video of Matthew chasing it. Anyway . . .
Because of the long weekend and Ryan's lack of free time (Tis the football season.), I opted to take the kiddies to Dallas for grandparent/cousin time. Saturday night we took the kids to Chuck E' Cheese's. I actually brought in my camera, but it was so crazy in there, I never felt like I could get a picture. Oh well. They had fun.
Sunday, we spent at Wayne and D'Lonna's for dinner, cake, and ice cream for David's 8th and Matthew's 6th birthdays. I don't know if you can see it, but Ryan's mom made the coolest embellishments for each package. She's actually teaching Super Saturday on how to make these awesome flowers, cupcakes, pinwheels, and purses. Of course, I didn't get a picture of it. Also, she made this really cute space shuttle cake--lots of sacrifice went into that cake! It turned out super darling!
We had a fantastic trip!
To finish the trip, we flew kites and one of Grandpa's airplanes--again, no pics. LAME. My memory card was full, but I did get a video of Matthew chasing it. Anyway . . .
Pre-School With Teacher Gillett!
Davey started pre-school. He goes to Sister Gillett's house for two hours on Tuesday and Thursday, and he's loving it! She has a little school room set up in her house and he gets to wear his amazing Bumblebee backpack. How much better can it get than this?!
Over the last week, this song kept playing in my head. I was a bit weepy.
Schoolbag in hand, he leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch him go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing him forever
And without really entering his world
I'm glad whenever I can share his laughter
That funny little boy
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in his mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
He keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, he and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when he's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in his mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
He keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand he leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
Over the last week, this song kept playing in my head. I was a bit weepy.
Schoolbag in hand, he leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch him go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing him forever
And without really entering his world
I'm glad whenever I can share his laughter
That funny little boy
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in his mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
He keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, he and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when he's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in his mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
He keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand he leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
Matthew's Creations
Matthew's builds things like this each day. I forget how amazing they are, because he does it so often; however, he really does build these things without instructions.
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