"And the rain descended . . ."

Today has been much like any other typical day around our house. We woke up, started breakfast, said prayers, started our morning routine . . . I should note that I felt inspired to ask Heavenly Father to help me be extra patient today--I need this every day, but I had no idea what awaited me today.

Well, while the boys were in the bathtub playing, I thought it might be a good idea to get a few things out of the way (i.e. find out where playgroup was via email and tidy up). As I was reading my email from our playgroup leader, I suddenly heard what appeared to sound like "rushing water". I turned and asked the boys what they were up to. The noise was gone--so I figured that David had dumped some water out. I let them know to keep the water in the bathtub. A few seconds later, "Gosh, is the toilet running?"--to myself. "Matthew, are you going potty? Why is the toilet running, like it was just flushed? David, get back in the tub."

A few seconds later, "Wow, I still hear that running noise. What's the deal?" Thoughts processing . . . start to worry . . . it could be . . . it could be this . . . worrying . . . heart heavy . . . running to the bathroom . . . PANIC!!!

The entire floor was glistening about an inch high and it was moving onto the carpet in the hallway . . .

David decided to try to flush their pajamas down the toilet. Now, I am not aware of any toilet, which has the opening or the power to plummage (Is this a word?) multiple pairs of clothes. We did have a few instances a few years ago, where Matthew actually flushed his tiny underwear down the toilet, and we have not seen them since. But these are David's pajamas we're talking about and Matthew's.

Anyway . . . water was just gushing out of the toilet--GUSHING!!!!

I remove David's death grip from the toilet handle, and quickly remove the clothes. Then, I grab towel after towel--including our massively LARGE beach towels. To give you an idea, these are like $20-25 towels that are big enough for two people to lay on and SUPER thick. The water soaked through and drenched these towels in a matter of seconds. I used three and it still wasn't getting the mess.

I didn't get a pic of the water, as I was in shock at that moment, but I did get the pic of all of the towels. I thought to myself, "I should record this. Someday" . . . and I mean in the FUTURE . . . "I may think this is funny." In between soaking up the water, David would sneak in a flush, which resulted in a swift spankin' on his bum. Then, I felt like a really bad mom. And Matthew said, "Mommy, I'm really sorry. I just want you to be happy. I think I need to have a hug." Me: "Matthew, I'm not happy with you guys right now. What were you thinking? This may flood the downstairs. This could end up costing us a lot of money." Matthew: "Mom that voice makes me really sad. It hurts my feelings. It's okay, Brother, I know you didn't mean to."

Then, about 10 minutes later in the bedroom, "Mom, I like space things. That makes me really happy. What makes you happy?"

Thoughts begin turning again, and I think to Emily's testimony from Sunday. I think to last night's young women's activity about gratitude journals. I realize, "You boys are my happiness. Your dad is my happiness. The Gospel. It's just a moment. It's going to pass me by. Think about how quickly David has just forgiven you for his spankin's. Think about how sweet this beloved child is, realizing you are upset, and he's trying to do what you try to do for him when he's upset."

"Find joy in the journey . . . now."

"Finding Strength Beyond My Own . . ."

I feel like it's been a while since I've actually posted on here--or maybe it hasn't been that long, it's just that we've been so busy.

Ryan and I were recently called to serve as a ma and pa on the upcoming stake trek this summer. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to work with these amazing youth and study more dilligently about the pioneers. For those who don't know what a trek is, it is a re-enactment of the Mormon pioneers crossing Wyoming.

There were 10 handcart companies--please, correct me if I'm wrong, which crossed during the 1840's and '50's. However, one of the main reasons we re-enact is because of the specific Willie/Martin/Hodgette/Hunt handcart companies. These groups emmigrated from Europe to the United States, then took the railway as far as they could--Iowa, I believe. From there, they walked (some barefoot) and pulled handcarts across the 1300 miles to Salt Lake City. Each person was allowed 17 pounds, and that lessoned as they grew weaker from lack of food and the storms that hit. These specific handcart companies were stuck in the winter storms in October of 1847 in Wyoming. Many died. The Willie company lost 160 people and the Martin company lost 69. They had limited funds, as they were already coming through the Perpetual Emmigration Fund, and when winter hit, their hunting source ran out. They were trekking through the snow in rags, some of them, on only 4 ounces of flour. Lets think about that. Basically, that's enough for a gruel / gross soup. It was not enough to nourish them for the work they prepared. And the gruel created really terrible dysentary (Am I spelling this right?). They were climbing high elevations, as many of the places are over a mile high (Devil's Gate, Rocky Ridge, South Pass, etc.) in Wyoming. They had to cross the Sweetwater River, which is much narrower today than it was then. There were chunks of ice, several inches thick, floating in the water that came several feet high. Conditions were terrible. Rescue parties were sent from Salt Lake City, when President Brigham Young (prophet then) heard these groups were on the trail at general conference.

Our trek will cover 25 miles in 2 1/2 days. We will wear pioneer attire--fashioned from the 1840's and '50's. We will camp and cook from scratch. And we will pull a handcart. The purpose of this trek is to remember. I guess it may seem odd to people who are not of our faith and maybe to some who are. The point of going is so that we can experience some of what our ancestors did. We can see more clearly (a small portion) of what sacrifices they made. We can draw strength from their experiences and them, as we remember both. The other purpose is to become converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. True conversion cannot happen without faith tried and tested. The pioneers gave up their lives in Europe--their native homelands--homes, family, jobs, friends, language familiarity, everything--to come to Zion. They were converted to the Gospel. They absolutely knew that God would see them through. Many of them died along the way, but they died faithfully, with their hearts and faces towards Zion. God called them through the Prophet and they obeyed and followed. We have so much to learn from them.

Yesterday and Saturday, we had the privilege to receive training from Brother Stuart Glazier. He travels all over the United States, preparing stakes for these treks. And he also gives many tours and takes groups out on the actual trek in Wyoming, where the original pioneers crossed. One of the things that he talked about really touched my heart.

A few summers ago, he was taking Elder M. Russell Ballard (an apostle) and his family across Wyoming on a personal tour. Elder Ballard said as they looked over Rocky Ridge, that "when this life is over, we will look back once we are on the other side. We will see that Heavenly Father has micro-managed our lives without taking away our agency." He also said, "When you begin to feel what it is like to be rescued, you will feel what it is like to know the atonement." I've been thinking a lot about these. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. Often times, we think we know better, and we try to change His will. We ask to have things removed from us, instead of asking Him to strengthen us in our trials. Much is to be said of the pioneers, who had so much to complain about, but refused. Instead, they called upon God, asking Him to provide a way, to strengthen them, so that they could accomplish His purposed for them. I have done this lately (the asking to have my burdens removed), where I have felt really tested. I have worked a few nights a week over the past 3 1/2-4 months, and am going to have to work a little bit longer. Ryan's dad just had very serious heart surgery. My mom just went through some very serious trials of health. My heart has felt pulled and swollen and full. I have relied on scripture study and prayer. I have relied on Heavenly Father because that's all that I have had to go on. Through study and Priesthood blessings, I have realized how much I don't need trials taken away. We are never given more than we can handle, but that's only if we turn our hearts over to the Lord. I have felt rescued many times by my Father-in-Heaven. He's sent someone to my family to answer a prayer, He's comforted me through the Holy Ghost, He's blessed me so much. When we consider how many billions of people have lived on this earth, we are so small and insignificant. Then, we consider how many other worlds there are: "worlds without number". We are indeed very small, tiny, minute, less than the dust of the earth, microscopic, etc. And yet, Heavenly Father cares about each of us. He knows each of us by name. He knows our hearts, our thoughts. He stands waiting to bless us, if we will simply ask. He loves us. I know this. I have felt and continue to feel His hand in my life. I testify of these things in His Son's sacred name, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

How I love my wife!!!!!

Keri, I just wanted to let you know just how much I love you. You mean the world to me. I am so thankful everyday that I have you as my wife. I am grateful that I get to wake up next to the most beautiful woman in my life. I love all of the fun times we have with each other, just laughing and having a good time. I love our spiritual conversations. It is truly a gift to be married to a woman with such a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the hard work that you do. You work so hard to make sure that our family is taken care of, and then you take care of everyone else's family. You have such a great heart. I love our dancing under the stars (although half the time I complain about it). I love just holding you at night while you fall asleep in my arms. I love our family days. It is fun to spend time with our little family and be together to watch our kids grow. I love the missionary work that we do together. I love the morning prayers that I give with you at 6:00 am while you are still laying in bed half asleep trying to stay awake. I love the mornings when our kids crawl into bed with us and sleep the last hour of the morning off. I love the look that you give me when you tell me that you love me. I love just holding your hand and being by your side. I love our trips to the temple. I love you for you. I hope that you have an amazing Valentine's Day.

Love,

Ry

A Letter . . .

Dearest Mother of Mine,

Words cannot adequately describe the feelings in my heart for you. And I lack eloquence, so . . . thus, I am going to attempt to let you know of a small fraction of the love I feel for you.

I was blessed to be born into a home where love and respect made up its foundations. I saw your example each day of compassion and charity for the less fortunate. I never knew if we were poor, because you always found a way to make delicious meals from what we had. You were and still are serving everyone around you. You always taught me by example to think less of my own situation and more on others'.

Most of my childhood memories consist of your playing outside with us. Many days and weeks and even months, you were alone while Dad served overseas, yet, you never showed any fear or discouragement.

I have always wondered how you showed great courage in the face of such a difficult task. As I face the challenges of motherhood each day, I find many days where it would be much easier to go back to bed or send my kids to daycare. Then, I remember your strength. I remember how much harder of a time you had, and I remember how well you succeeded. This inspires me and often times gets me through.

I've thought about all of the times I returned home after being away. You have always greeted me with this smile that I can't even describe, but it has melted my heart each time. The way you have looked into my eyes and smiled and called me your "kiwi" has made me feel so loved and welcomed. I've known that I was returning to the person who loved me most and believed in me, that I could do anything.

You have always made me feel beautiful, Mom. In the words you have said and the way you have treated me, I have felt this.

Motherhood requires one to put off the natural man. You no longer hold your wants and needs at the forefront of your mind. Instead, you take on your spouses' and your children's. It requires everything--your time, talents, efforts. And like you have always said, "It never ends. It's a 24-hours a day/ 7 days a week kind of job." This is you in a nut-shell. You have given your everything to your family. You are entirely selfless, Mom. This is probably one of your greatest, if not your greatest attributes. Again, it points to your charity. You are amazing, and once more, I look up to you so much.

There have been times in my life when everything seemed to be in disarray. You came to my rescue at these times, whether it was a phone call, coaching me through everything, or it was literally flying out to come to help. One time you flew out to help me get ready for a bridal shower. You came just for the day and helped me grocery shop and cut everything up and prepare, and then, you left just before the first guest arrived to make the flight home. When David was hospitalized the first time, you dropped everything and flew out. You held me and told me everything would be okay. You did shifts with me at the hospital each time those things happened. You called to see how I was holding up. I wish I could be there with you today, telling you all of those same things.

You have succeeded as a grandparent. My kids favor you over anyone else. They know that you are their greatest advocate and they feel of your eternal love for them. They know that you care deeply for them and that you want nothing but the best for them--another amazing thing that is still taking me and going to take me a while--but you've already mastered.

I have a lot of memories of late night grocery trips, summer swimming and ice cream cones afterward, long drives, talking on your bed at the end of each day, so many good memories.

I think about today and how full my heart is. I've been really worried about you, and I've struggled to have faith. I've felt overwhelmed by this week's events, but then I've held on to your strength again.

I've thought about your role as the matriarch of our family. You're the glue that holds everyone together. And you've done an amazing job. Because of your faithfulness, generations, not just a few people, but GENERATIONS will be exalted.

I love you always, and I hope you will always know that. I can never say thank you enough, and some day, in the next life time probably, I will have the capacity to communicate my most inner feelings for you. Until then, I hope "I love you" can do. I know that you were the perfect mom for me growing up and are the perfect mom for me now.

~Your Kiwi

The Windows of Heaven

Again, I cannot say enough about my sweet boys. They're both entirely different, and yet, they are these kindred / "best friends-for-life" brothers. I LOVE it! Please note that the reason David's shirt is unbuttoned is because the sleeves would not even come close. This is a 3T, folks!

Matthew: Mom, where are you going tonight?

Me: No where.

Matthew: Not to work?

Me: No.

Matthew: Not to young womens?

Me: No.

Matthew: Not to church?

Me: Nope.

Matthew: Thanks, Mom!

Today was Matthew's first day riding the pre-school bus. When it came time to go wait, we still had not finished lunch, so . . . I left David at the table with his mac and cheese. Then, Matthew and I grabbed ours to wait at the bottom of the stairs. I kissed and hugged Matthew. He ate a few more bites. Then, the helper came and helped him on and buckled him in, and he was off. I ran up the stairs to go back to David. His bowl was totally empty and he was asking for more "chee". He said, "Mamma's chee"="Matthew's mac & cheese. I gave him the bowl and he scarfed that down. Then he said, "More chee". "Mama's chee." I gave him the rest of my bowl, but it was empty. So . . . I filled his up with more from the pan. Me: Is it good, Davey? David: No. Go figure, Kid. You're on your fourth bowl of the worst tasting macaroni and cheese ever. You crack me up!

Much is to be said of last week. My heart is very full of gratitude to Heavenly Father for once again watching over our little family. I cannot express everything, as I feel the events are too sacred to share. However, direct prayers were answered, and more than one. Priesthood blessings were given from people who had no idea about what was going on, and verbatim of what we prayed for. So many people acted on promptings that they didn't even realize were such. Windows were opened for us to relieve some heavy burdens and provide further opportunities and blessings.

I know that the promise in Malachi 3:10 is very real. If we pay our tithes and offerings, He really will pour out blessings on us so much that there will not be enough room to receive them. When we put our trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding, He really does bless us and make our lives more than we ever thought. He is aware of each of us. He loves us. I'm so grateful to Father-in-Heaven and my Savior. I love them.

Endearment

When do we become endearing?

I was sitting in my lonesome box at work last night contemplating this question. This old, little lady came and purchased tickets for herself and her friend. A minute or so later, her friend came straggling in. As she walked by my box, she smiled one of those warm, "grandma" smiles (like you were her favorite person in the whole world and she beleived you could do anything), and she waved at me. It was such a sweet gesture and said so much in the few seconds that I encountered her.

I began thinking about all of the special elderly people in my life. Some older people are grouchy, but the ones in my life are enchanting and kind and really, really sweet and adorable.

So when does that change take place? Is it all of a sudden when you become a grandparent or you turn 62, and the switch flips?

My thoughts also turned to people who have had this quality about them their entire lives. How do they do that?

Carol Thompson, for example. She was the type of person who just had this glow about her. She could make you feel so special and wonderful and loved (more than you deserved) and happy on your most rotten day. She always sought for the good in people. Her entire life she struggled with many health issues, and yet, she never complained. Being in her presence, you came to know the Savior better, because she emulated Him in everything she did.

Jolinda Prickette. Same thing. She is a woman who has so much on her plate, and yet, she is the most kind-hearted and sweetest person you will ever meet.

Dianna Thimmes. I'm not sure there is another woman like this. She has such a compassion and love for all she meets and serves. She follows the promptings of the Spirit. Her humility and meekness is inspiring.

Merlene Featherstone. She was the matron of the Logan Temple while we lived in the 5th ward for four years. I felt like I was at home and being encircled by the arms of a Heavenly Mother. This is how I picture our's to be. It would only seem fit. She just had genuine, pure love for everyone she came across.

I've been tutored by so many amazing women. And I know there are many more than I have listed here. But this is who I want to be. I want everyone who comes my way to feel welcome, like they are home, whether they actually come into my home or they are in company. I want to emulate the Savior in such a way that other people can draw closer to Him through me. I want to be an instrument in His hands by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.