Has it really been three weeks?

"In the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things"--this quote is so much easier said than done.

I've had the opportunity over the past month and a half to realize just how much Heavenly Father's hand has been in my life. We've reflected a great deal this week, as we've vacationed here in Colorado, on the "growing opportunities" we have experienced in the first quarter of 2009. Slowing down is a necessity and stepping back to re-evaluate what your thoughts and feelings are, feels essential.

And I don't want to lay out all of the cards on the table, but I just really feel like I have so much to be grateful for.

Tonight, I had the chance to celebrate my Pop-pop's 77th birthday. He is such an amazing man. I feel truly humbled and inspired by him. Since he was a young man, he has worked hard, serving his country, supporting his family, and testifying of the truth. He works in the temple twice each week, and he is the most guile-less person I know. I can't recall hearing him speak badly about anyone. His sweet love and zest for life make me smile. His love for his dear "Grammy" and all of his grandchildren and great grandchildren brings tears to my eyes. I feel so honored to be a part of a family where such a patriarch leads us.

During the evening, I had the chance to visit with parents, cousins, siblings, an aunt, friends, and spend time with my immediate family. David and I ran crazily around the yard, yelling about the monsters that were going to get us, then hid from them, and then shot them with our amazing lazer index-finger weapons, sounds included. It was such a great time! We also had an Easter egg hunt and both boys thoroughly enjoyed that.

Earlier in the week, Matthew and I played Battleship and we've had lots of time to go for walks or talk about things without stress.

I've spent time visiting with my dear mother. Again, this is a tender subject. Words cannot begin to convey the feelings in my heart for this sweet and precious spirit. I've struggled seeing her, as reality has set in. I feared coming here because I worried that she might really have just had heart surgery. I worried about seeing the changes in her body and lots of feelings that I would have to confront. Well, I'm here, and as I've seen the flowers, the cards, the phone calls, and had the conversations, it's hit me that these things really have happened. It still feels pretty surreal, but she's here. She's here in all of her sweetness, all of her beauty, all of her tenderness, all of her wisdom, and all of the things that make her my mother. And my heart feels swollen with love for her. Again, "In the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things."--much easier said than done.

This trip has marked some personal losses for me. I do not wish to give details, but I feel grateful again to Heavenly Father for placing me here in Colorado at this time when these events transpired. Although loss is something we all have to face at some point in our lives, it doesn't mean that it is going to be easy. But through the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can have the peace and rest He speaks of in Matthew 11:28-30. And through others, we can receive love and support. With these losses, I have needed three things: prayer, my dear husband, and my mother. I'm grateful I have had this opportunity.

On a lighter note, my dad, Ryan, and I had the opportunity to go to the mountains. I realized once again how much I love Colorado and how beautiful it is! Four-wheeling was so fun, and I even shot my dad's very intense, intimidating, and LOUD pistol. We had a great time! With the trek in mind, it hit me again about the struggles of the pioneers. I am amazed by their perseverance, determination, faith, courage, and testimonies. They paved the way for me, my family, and everyone--what a humbling blessing.

Tomorrow, I will get to go to the temple with my beloved. I can't think of a better way to end the week. The night before we left for this trip, we didn't get to bed until super late. The kids didn't go to bed until three and a half hours after they needed to, and therefore, we were up. Anyway, we got up and played cards and talked about some things. We decided that this trip was going to be non-stress. We were going to do everything in our power to exercise greater patience with our children and to be positive and happy. The 12-13 hour drive out here was by far the best drive we have ever had. We had such a great time with our children and spending time together in the car. Everyone was helpful and cooperative as a result of the extra efforts. And again, I have had so many moments with Ryan, where I have been able to see who he really is and how much I love him and why I love him. Stepping back from homelife, I don't have my blinders on. I realize again how hard he works to support our family, how hard he tries in all that he does, his laughter, how quick he is to forgive others and myself, his boy-at-heart personality, his beautiful eyes, and how he helps me and stands by me. As I have looked across the room, when we have been in a group setting, I have felt my heart flutter in anticipation of sitting or standing by him. I've had to remind myself that he married me. He actually chose me. I feel like the luckiest one. I'm so blessed to be sealed to this amazing and wonderful man. I love him.

Probably this was a lot more than many wanted to here, but that's okay. I needed to say these things. Again, I feel Heavenly Father's hand in my life. I'm grateful for the trials He has blessed me with, and I'm grateful for the path He has directed me to. I could have never imagined or planned this much happiness. Because of the trials that I have overcome, I have felt the joy of the happy moments that much more. Forever, I am in His debt.

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