A Letter . . .

Dearest Mother of Mine,

Words cannot adequately describe the feelings in my heart for you. And I lack eloquence, so . . . thus, I am going to attempt to let you know of a small fraction of the love I feel for you.

I was blessed to be born into a home where love and respect made up its foundations. I saw your example each day of compassion and charity for the less fortunate. I never knew if we were poor, because you always found a way to make delicious meals from what we had. You were and still are serving everyone around you. You always taught me by example to think less of my own situation and more on others'.

Most of my childhood memories consist of your playing outside with us. Many days and weeks and even months, you were alone while Dad served overseas, yet, you never showed any fear or discouragement.

I have always wondered how you showed great courage in the face of such a difficult task. As I face the challenges of motherhood each day, I find many days where it would be much easier to go back to bed or send my kids to daycare. Then, I remember your strength. I remember how much harder of a time you had, and I remember how well you succeeded. This inspires me and often times gets me through.

I've thought about all of the times I returned home after being away. You have always greeted me with this smile that I can't even describe, but it has melted my heart each time. The way you have looked into my eyes and smiled and called me your "kiwi" has made me feel so loved and welcomed. I've known that I was returning to the person who loved me most and believed in me, that I could do anything.

You have always made me feel beautiful, Mom. In the words you have said and the way you have treated me, I have felt this.

Motherhood requires one to put off the natural man. You no longer hold your wants and needs at the forefront of your mind. Instead, you take on your spouses' and your children's. It requires everything--your time, talents, efforts. And like you have always said, "It never ends. It's a 24-hours a day/ 7 days a week kind of job." This is you in a nut-shell. You have given your everything to your family. You are entirely selfless, Mom. This is probably one of your greatest, if not your greatest attributes. Again, it points to your charity. You are amazing, and once more, I look up to you so much.

There have been times in my life when everything seemed to be in disarray. You came to my rescue at these times, whether it was a phone call, coaching me through everything, or it was literally flying out to come to help. One time you flew out to help me get ready for a bridal shower. You came just for the day and helped me grocery shop and cut everything up and prepare, and then, you left just before the first guest arrived to make the flight home. When David was hospitalized the first time, you dropped everything and flew out. You held me and told me everything would be okay. You did shifts with me at the hospital each time those things happened. You called to see how I was holding up. I wish I could be there with you today, telling you all of those same things.

You have succeeded as a grandparent. My kids favor you over anyone else. They know that you are their greatest advocate and they feel of your eternal love for them. They know that you care deeply for them and that you want nothing but the best for them--another amazing thing that is still taking me and going to take me a while--but you've already mastered.

I have a lot of memories of late night grocery trips, summer swimming and ice cream cones afterward, long drives, talking on your bed at the end of each day, so many good memories.

I think about today and how full my heart is. I've been really worried about you, and I've struggled to have faith. I've felt overwhelmed by this week's events, but then I've held on to your strength again.

I've thought about your role as the matriarch of our family. You're the glue that holds everyone together. And you've done an amazing job. Because of your faithfulness, generations, not just a few people, but GENERATIONS will be exalted.

I love you always, and I hope you will always know that. I can never say thank you enough, and some day, in the next life time probably, I will have the capacity to communicate my most inner feelings for you. Until then, I hope "I love you" can do. I know that you were the perfect mom for me growing up and are the perfect mom for me now.

~Your Kiwi