"Finding Strength Beyond My Own . . ."

I feel like it's been a while since I've actually posted on here--or maybe it hasn't been that long, it's just that we've been so busy.

Ryan and I were recently called to serve as a ma and pa on the upcoming stake trek this summer. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to work with these amazing youth and study more dilligently about the pioneers. For those who don't know what a trek is, it is a re-enactment of the Mormon pioneers crossing Wyoming.

There were 10 handcart companies--please, correct me if I'm wrong, which crossed during the 1840's and '50's. However, one of the main reasons we re-enact is because of the specific Willie/Martin/Hodgette/Hunt handcart companies. These groups emmigrated from Europe to the United States, then took the railway as far as they could--Iowa, I believe. From there, they walked (some barefoot) and pulled handcarts across the 1300 miles to Salt Lake City. Each person was allowed 17 pounds, and that lessoned as they grew weaker from lack of food and the storms that hit. These specific handcart companies were stuck in the winter storms in October of 1847 in Wyoming. Many died. The Willie company lost 160 people and the Martin company lost 69. They had limited funds, as they were already coming through the Perpetual Emmigration Fund, and when winter hit, their hunting source ran out. They were trekking through the snow in rags, some of them, on only 4 ounces of flour. Lets think about that. Basically, that's enough for a gruel / gross soup. It was not enough to nourish them for the work they prepared. And the gruel created really terrible dysentary (Am I spelling this right?). They were climbing high elevations, as many of the places are over a mile high (Devil's Gate, Rocky Ridge, South Pass, etc.) in Wyoming. They had to cross the Sweetwater River, which is much narrower today than it was then. There were chunks of ice, several inches thick, floating in the water that came several feet high. Conditions were terrible. Rescue parties were sent from Salt Lake City, when President Brigham Young (prophet then) heard these groups were on the trail at general conference.

Our trek will cover 25 miles in 2 1/2 days. We will wear pioneer attire--fashioned from the 1840's and '50's. We will camp and cook from scratch. And we will pull a handcart. The purpose of this trek is to remember. I guess it may seem odd to people who are not of our faith and maybe to some who are. The point of going is so that we can experience some of what our ancestors did. We can see more clearly (a small portion) of what sacrifices they made. We can draw strength from their experiences and them, as we remember both. The other purpose is to become converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. True conversion cannot happen without faith tried and tested. The pioneers gave up their lives in Europe--their native homelands--homes, family, jobs, friends, language familiarity, everything--to come to Zion. They were converted to the Gospel. They absolutely knew that God would see them through. Many of them died along the way, but they died faithfully, with their hearts and faces towards Zion. God called them through the Prophet and they obeyed and followed. We have so much to learn from them.

Yesterday and Saturday, we had the privilege to receive training from Brother Stuart Glazier. He travels all over the United States, preparing stakes for these treks. And he also gives many tours and takes groups out on the actual trek in Wyoming, where the original pioneers crossed. One of the things that he talked about really touched my heart.

A few summers ago, he was taking Elder M. Russell Ballard (an apostle) and his family across Wyoming on a personal tour. Elder Ballard said as they looked over Rocky Ridge, that "when this life is over, we will look back once we are on the other side. We will see that Heavenly Father has micro-managed our lives without taking away our agency." He also said, "When you begin to feel what it is like to be rescued, you will feel what it is like to know the atonement." I've been thinking a lot about these. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. Often times, we think we know better, and we try to change His will. We ask to have things removed from us, instead of asking Him to strengthen us in our trials. Much is to be said of the pioneers, who had so much to complain about, but refused. Instead, they called upon God, asking Him to provide a way, to strengthen them, so that they could accomplish His purposed for them. I have done this lately (the asking to have my burdens removed), where I have felt really tested. I have worked a few nights a week over the past 3 1/2-4 months, and am going to have to work a little bit longer. Ryan's dad just had very serious heart surgery. My mom just went through some very serious trials of health. My heart has felt pulled and swollen and full. I have relied on scripture study and prayer. I have relied on Heavenly Father because that's all that I have had to go on. Through study and Priesthood blessings, I have realized how much I don't need trials taken away. We are never given more than we can handle, but that's only if we turn our hearts over to the Lord. I have felt rescued many times by my Father-in-Heaven. He's sent someone to my family to answer a prayer, He's comforted me through the Holy Ghost, He's blessed me so much. When we consider how many billions of people have lived on this earth, we are so small and insignificant. Then, we consider how many other worlds there are: "worlds without number". We are indeed very small, tiny, minute, less than the dust of the earth, microscopic, etc. And yet, Heavenly Father cares about each of us. He knows each of us by name. He knows our hearts, our thoughts. He stands waiting to bless us, if we will simply ask. He loves us. I know this. I have felt and continue to feel His hand in my life. I testify of these things in His Son's sacred name, even Jesus Christ. Amen.