"If the Savior stood beside me, . . ."

"Would I do the things I do?"

I love this song. I believe that it's a primary song, and yet, it's words are so powerful. There's much more to the song than this, but this is the part that has struck me most.

Again, I feel the need to communicate how my testimony has been effected as of late.

Monday evenings each week, we have what is called family home evening, where we have a spiritual lesson and then an activity together. This time is always designated to spend time together. Usually, we have fhe and then, put the kids to bed. Around 9:30 p.m. each week, upon her return from school and work, our neighbor, Kianna, drops by for an fhe with just the three of us.

This week, we talked about Joseph B. Wirthlin's, "Come What May and Love It." Mid-way through the lesson, our friend stopped by to help administer a blessing to Kianna, as she has been ill. The blessing was specifically for Kianna. However, as I listened to the words, I realized that an answer was given to me.

Over the past month, as I've mentioned in previous posts, I have really struggled. We've had sort of a variety of trials. Each has tested our faith. Over the past two weeks, I've found so much peace, as I've turned my burdens over to the Lord. I've felt bad about neglecting some of my responsibilities, as a member of the PTA of Matthew's school, a visiting teacher, etc. It's taken courage to face my trials, and I've done that. I guess I do that a little bit each day, as realities have set in. But . . . I've struggled with taking a break from everything. I feel like I'm ready to get back to my full self. I feel like I really do have so much peace.

That takes me back to Kianna's blessing. She was counseled to find those around her she could serve; that act would help her with all of the trials in her life. That really started my thoughts turning.

Grieving / mourning is a process. We cannot deny what is happening/happened. We cannot run from it. Confrontation is a must. However, it is not to take over. Balance in all things is necessary. The way that we keep it from taking over our lives is through the Savior. He has already suffered these things for us. He knows all of our sins, temptations, sicknesses, sorrows, etc, EVERYTHING. We give Him these things, and in return, He gives us comfort, peace, serenity, solace, and healing through the Holy Ghost. Once we've reached this point, and we feel whole again, we are able then to return to ourselves and to serve those around us. This also helps with the healing process. We are able to serve our Heavenly Father by serving those around us and meeting their needs. It diverts our focus from our own problems to those around us. As we progress, we are able to get through this process faster, because our testimonies are more deeply rooted in Jesus Christ. We trust Him more and our faith becomes knowledge, that He really did atone for us.

The other thoughts I have been having concern the young women's general broadcast. This year's annual meeting focused its theme on virtue. The young women's general president asked us to choose a symbol that would represent our personal banner of return to virtue. I hope my wording makes sense here. Sister Dalton chose a white rose, because it becomes more beautiful as it grows and for its purity. I've been thinking a lot about what my symbol should be.